Positively Smashing: Kids Giving Back

Bullying. Hazing. Underage drinking. Mailbox target practice.

Stories of kids behaving badly make for good news copy, but they’re entirely depressing. So for today’s column, I’m looking forward to writing about some kids behaving above and beyond.

In part, it’s a follow-up to my . I love to hear how children in our area are doing their part to help others.

Like the boys and girls in Wilton’s ’s fourth grade CCD class, who filled a box with a complete Thanksgiving dinner for a local family in need.

Like the kids at my family’s own Thanksgiving dinner who packed seven bags with groceries for the Food Bank of Lower Fairfield County.

And like Layla and Maya Wofsy of Westport, who had a simple idea that spawned an entire charity, called the Kidz Give Back Foundation.

With a birthday always falling just after Thanksgiving, 11-year-old Layla upended the idea of receiving presents to celebrate. Instead, she turned her special day into a tradition of giving to others rather than getting.

At an early age, Layla recalls being aware of how fortunate she was and wanting to do something other than collect more presents every year.

“When I was two years old, we went to Build a Bear and stuffed an animal, and we brought it to Kids in Crisis. When I was turning six, I wanted to do a big thing with my friends and we started this idea. I don’t really have birthday parties, this is like my big, huge birthday party.”

Her “big, huge birthday party” has become a yearly open house at her family’s Westport home the Friday after Thanksgiving. With furniture pushed into back rooms, the living space becomes jam-packed all day long with friends, family and neighbors stuffing cuddly bears, puppies, alligators and monkeys to be decorated, wrapped and donated.

Fifty families participated in 2007 when the Wofsy family threw their first official “Stuffed With Love” party. It’s now tripled to 150 local families who took part this year. As the “Stuffed With Love” website describes their very simple mission:  “enable children of all ages to create heartfelt gifts for children in need.  By doing this, children learn the value of giving back to their communities.”

Layla is able to translate that mission into kid-speak to help her friends and other children understand how important it is to give back. “It feels good and helpful. You still get, but you get more when you give. You’re having fun [when you make a stuffed animal], but you’re having fun to give to other kids.”

Layla’s mom, Hallie, says that a large percentage of the 335 animals made this year go to Tomorrow’s Children Fund, which helps children battling cancer and blood diseases. “Because the families put so much time, energy and finances into health care, they’re tapped out. So it’s not just because these are sick children, it’s also helping the families who have put everything into helping their children and gifts may not have been a priority anymore for them.”

Other toys are donated to children via Westport-based charity, Al's Angels.

Later this month, for the first time, Layla and Maya will get to help distribute many of the toys made this past Thanksgiving. It’s part of the learning process for them too, to see the “pay-it-forward” benefit their idea has sparked.

“I hope that we see that it makes the children happy,” Maya said.

It’s an amazing thing for kids to participate in, on so many levels, as my family has learned by taking part in “Stuffed With Love” for the last three years. My 9- and 5-year-olds are at different stages of being able to understand what building a toy for someone else really means.  My son, the eldest, has a much easier time walking away without his own stuffed animal, but he understands the difficulties some people face in life a little more than his younger sister. My daughter has a harder time working hard to build a toy she doesn’t get to keep. But it’s that process that helps us teach them something, and that giving back to others in much more profound ways is what’s important.

Hallie echoes how “Stuffed With Love” has become a relatable way for parents to teach their children about giving back.

“It’s great that kids learn to give back, however it’s done. But the fact that they’re spending time in their day, it means more of a commitment. And as the kids are getting older, some of them might not love stuffing animals, or for the older boys stuffed animals aren’t their thing anymore. But they still come, they still want to come, because they know that the toy is maybe going to a boy that is still young and who’ll love it just like they loved it when they were young. It changes the dynamic of it.”

She adds, “We ask parents that if their younger ones do want to keep one, please encourage your child to make a second identical one, name it the same, decorate it the same, so that when you see yours, you can think about the other child who’s receiving the match.”

What they're giving every children who takes part is a sense of accomplishment and ownership over directly helping a child in need. As Hallie points out, "these gifts may be the only present some children receive this holiday season."

The Wofsys are trying to grow the effort in a big way. They’ve become an officially-registered non-profit, and are hoping to facilitate others to create “Stuffed With Love” events on their own.

 “The Westport/Wilton community kids have been learning to give back to their communities. Now we’re hoping that kids across the country will do the same. Our goal is that in every state there will be at least one Stuffed With Love event. There’s one in New Jersey, one in Michigan. We’re hoping to spread the word to sororities, to schools, to summer camps—because that’s a great place where kids are together, and it’s a way for kids over the summer to give back,” explained Hallie.

In an email to participants after the event Hallie wrote about the picture she took of the gift-bagged toys everyone had made.

"Although it does not do the 'real' thing justice, it does give you an idea of how many children will be able to smile, even for just that moment when they receive a homemade gift made with love by another child. It was amazing to watch toddlers and teens working side by side to accomplish the same goal:  to directly affect the lives of other children in a positive way. We hope that you will show this photo to your children so that they will see that they made a difference in this world."

I like telling this story a whole lot more.

For more information about “Stuffed With Love,” visit www.stuffedwithlove.net or contact Hallie Wofsy at hallie@stuffedwithlove.net.

About this column: Trying to find meaning and connections in issues and events for the people of lower Fairfield County.